Friday, April 03, 2009

A fear of another kind



Extremism was in my blood,

fanatical was my approach called,

a terrorist is what they branded me,

fools are they, I am the ‘son of the Almighty’,

sent by Him in this world,

to help a cause called- ‘Jihad’.


I knew from the very beginning the purpose of my life,

searching which,people spend their whole lives,

it was to destroy the foes of my GOD,

and to protect the people of my faith against all odds.


Awaiting the day when roads open for me to the heaven,

tirelessly night and day I had striven.


Alas! The day of salvation did come,

when I accomplished my mission,

bombs and bullets everywhere,

went unceasingly in that brainless state,

until before my gun stood a child so helpless,

seeing the fear in his eyes my wits came to its senses,

in just a matter of seconds,

I had changed the world around.


Oh! my God, what had I done,

a sudden jolt shook my world,

rose to the sight all my hair strands,

the gun fell off my shivering hands,

in front of me, the child still stood frozen,

while my mind wandered searching for an emotion.

The castle of my dogma and creed,

that stood firm for years on a false ground,

the stare into those eyes,

in a moment shattered it all.


In a sea of guilt I drowned,

the soul in the air, the body on the ground,

this alive corpse I surrendered before the law,

like a snake readily embracing an eagle’s claw.

From the dark and gloomy walls of the prison

as I write this with bloody tears,

my heart is filled with a fear,

for a name synonymous with terror,

it is hard to believe – is a victim of fear,

I suffer from the worst of the fears,

the fear of looking at myself again in a mirror.